Misha

By Master Efenwealt Wystle
copyright © 1999 by Scott F. Vaughan
Listen to it at Soundclick.com

Some would say its good to be the King or the Czar
Or perhaps the Prince of Wales and eat lots of caviar
But I say its better, so much better by far to be Misha
(da, its good to be the Misha)

Let me tell to you a tale about a man that I once knew
Of all his nasty habits and the awful things he'd do
So please don't call me crazy for this sing I song is true
About Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

There were 17 or so of us all sleeping on the floor
When Mikhail Kazimirovitch came stumbling through the door
He quickly fell asleep, but then he started to snore
He was Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

Well we rolled him on his side and we shook with all our might
We stuffed his mouth with dirty socks and held his nostrils tight
We splashed him with cold water but he would not wake that night
He was Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

So we wrapped him in his blankets and we threw him in the lake
We shaved off both his eyebrows, just for good times sake
We screamed and played the bagpipes but that Misha would not wake
Oh poor Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

We duct-taped him to a tree outside and used him for a pell.
We pulled out all his fingernails and threw him in the well.
We hit him with sledge-hammers, yes we beat him all to pieces.
Squishy Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

So we stuffed him in the cannon and we shot him far away
And hoped we would not hear from him until the break of day
But from the nearby forest, we could hear that awful bray... (SNORE)
Of the Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (clap clap)

Well, early the next morning, Misha woke and looked around.
And realized his sleeping bag was 10 feet off the ground.
He shrugged, went back to sleep, and began to make that sound... (SNORE)
Of the Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov (HEY!)

I've often said, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story," and the truth is - Misha snores like a chainsaw. We really did shake him repeatedly, splash water on his face and stuffed one of Eileen's dirty socks in his mouth. (That's a hard taste to wash out!) The next night we made him find someplace else to sleep. I thank Misha for having such a good sense of humor about this whole affair. Not long after I wrote this piece, he changed his name from Mikhail Kazimirovitch Pomeshanov to Michael Thomas Sommerfield - which just doesn't scan as well. Even years later, complete strangers at parties still ask him "are you THAT Misha?"

Does Misha really exist? Well, the answer is yes...... and no. Allow me to explain. My name is Shane. I am a member of the Society for Creative Anachronism. For those of you not familiar with this group, check out the website. Its a Middle Ages Educational Organization.

Now for the explaination I promised. Mikhail Kazimirovich Pomeshanov, loving know as Misha, is the personae I take on when I go to SCA events. So, while there is no birth certificate for someone by that name, he is really me.

How did the song come into being? Master Wystle was inspired. He and I have been friends now for several years. The truth is........ I tried to warn them! They wouldn't listen to me!

One night at an event I was running, I had forgotten to reserve a place to sleep. Scott and several others were nice enough to offer me space. I told them I snored, but they said not to worry. I insisted that I snored loudly. Again, they said not to worry. Well, at bed time, I came in and quickly fell asleep, just as the song says. Its about that point where the story becomes...... creative. I was not abused. No eyebrows were shaved. No fingernails pulled. I have been told that socks were used..... and if I find the little bugger, I'm gonna.... anyway.

So, yes, there really is a Misha. Yes, he does snore. Scott and I really are friends. Right, Scott?..... Scott? Is this thing on?

This work is copyright © 1999 by Scott F. Vaughan (aka Master Efenwealt Wystle). The lyrics are published here for limited personal use only. Any other reproductions (electronic, printed, audio, etc.) are prohibited. Vocal performance of the piece at events and other functions of the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. is permissible so long as the author is given credit.

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